Sometime in April, I got this weird idea in my head--message from the HP much?-to go to FCYPAA. I was hanging out with a newcomer and she had dabbled in FCY and so I thought it would be fun to go. I never wanted to be a part of FCYPAA or any subsequent YPAA anything before. I took pride in distancing myself from it. "Oh, I don't do FCYPAA" I'd say when anyone in the rooms would ask if I was attending a FCYPAA sponsored event. I see now I was doing what made me fail for many years in the rooms...I thought I was different. Certainly I met the "young person" requirement. I got sober at 24. So long story short, my HP gave me a message to go to FCYPAA, to shake my program up a little (I thought) and so I joined the committee after my buddy convinced me they needed me.
Even after being on the committee, I had no idea really what I was doing. What the f$#@ is FCYPAA? Now, I get it. I am alive again. I have filled with the FCY-fire. It sounds SO ridiculous, but it's true. My sponsor gets it though. She went to San Antonio and she totally get's my craziness now. I am in love with sobriety and my program all over again.
I drove up with 4 other people in true fcy-fashion. It took us 7 hours to get to a place maybe only 4.5 hours away. We stopped a lot, we laughed, we talked. The car ride up was pretty fun in itself. We got there and the bid table where everyone gathered was where it started to click for me. I had my a-ha moment Saturday night at the dance. I really don't think there are words to do the magic of FCYPAA or any YPAA event. I kick myself hourly for not attending ICYPAA when I was in San Francisco last year.
Then theres a bigger issue. Yeah I got the raise to stay at my job til the end of the year, but had I moved, I never would've gone to FCYPAA, maybe I never would've gone to any YPAA event. This experience further ingrained in my brain that my HP has a plan for me. The best news ever? My city won the bid, so now I'll get to be on a host committee...those plans for moving cross country may get pushed back again. I can't imagine not seeing this through.
Other cool news? I'm starting yoga teacher training in August!! Amazing wonderful gifts of sobriety. okay, you can go vomit on my mad love for everything now.
XOm-
B
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